maureneguire

testiMOny

By: Maurene McGuire

Church has always been a part of my life, even if it was just another thing I had to do. From kindergarten on I never had to say "Mom are we going to church this week?" and I knew not to fake sick on a Sunday morning. I knew all the songs we sang at Sunday school and all the stories from the bible. I was part of the youth choir and was told I was singing to the Lord. I never questioned anything my church family told me, and it was good until I did. In 7th my mom started making me go to youth group. It's too cool for me, my friends don't go, I am the only junior high girl, I have to take out the trash. There was always some excuse. Part of the reason I didn't like it was because I was intimidated by the high schoolers, which was yet another excuse. My then Sunday school teacher, Mr. Palamaro, decided to hold junior high youth group separate from senior high. That left me excuseless. At first I didn't want to go, but my mother was determined to make me. After a couple weeks I realized that going and studying the bible, and having fellowship could be fun. I was embarrassed because I had grown up in the church my entire life, and I didn't even know how to pray. Then, one morning in Sunday school Mr. Palamaro just offered up that when we pray we should talk to Jesus as if he was our best friend. Well, that night I talked to Jesus for a good hour, and I can remember exactly what I said. I guess that's when it all started. For two years after that I was still a shockingly shy terrified teenager. In 9th grade I strayed completely away, I still went to church and youth group, I had to, but I wasn't ever really there. I don't even know how it happened, but for five months I was terribly depressed over things that are so trivial now I wouldn't even think of wasting a second worrying. I felt completely alone, and weekends were spent in my room sleeping or crying. I didn't do my schoolwork, I didn't eat, and suicide was more of a fantasy then a nightmare. In April of my freshman year I was invited to go on a camping trip to Ocean City, Maryland with the youth group. My mom wanted me to go, but why would I want to spend a weekend with people who don't even really know me? And the paper was left sitting on my dining room table. One of my not-so-depressed days, my best friend Nickie was over, found the paper, and sort of invited herself to come along (not that I had a problem with it.) That helped me get to know some people a little better, but I still did not know who God was. Now it was June '97 and I was invited to go on another camping trip, this time it was going to be a Christian Music Festival on some farm in rural Pennsylvania. This sounded a little far-fetched to me, but Nickie again found out, and again begged me to go so she could go too. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was fun. I guess I expected to be a boring weeklong worship service. It was anything but boring; I again saw God's love, after pushing it away for so long, I was glad to have it back. And it made me a lot less shy, more confident in myself, and not afraid to let it be known that I was a Christian. Infact, I came so far out of my shell that this year my friend Andy Haldeman (look, I spelled his name right) and I got elected as youth group co-presidents. If that's not God's work, I don't know what is. Now I know I'll never be alone, God is always there, and I'm confident in my faith, and my faith has helped me to be confident in myself. I'm not going to lie to you and say I've led a perfect life since then, because I haven't. My walk with Christ is more of a roller coaster than a walk, but I'm working on making it stay up at the top though, I don't want it to ever come down.